Bla bla bla

I am quite free in thoughts and actions nowadays. I accepted every single opinions of others in non -judgemental way. Even so, not everyone seems to have the same 'upstairs'.

I am so taken back by the first sentence in an astrology book I read (sorry, cant seem to remember even the author). It read ' scorpio women, their ever regret was that they were not born a man'. Oh dear! I wiped my dry forehead on how close that very sentence is to what I have been feeling since years of my existence. Crazy- sounded is not it? Or ill-sounded? Petty?

Then later today, I, usually really would not mind whatever topic of my husband and friend prep-talk is but this today, the subject gotten softly to my ear and hitting me hard in the head. 'Man and how they actually look for money' - the nice way of putting it. The harsh one that I heard maybe I'll keep it to myself.

My husband and I, we are like quarter century gap or precisely about 14 years gap. It is well, just a number, yes, just like weight and height. I am so attracted to him by first chat we had - thanks to the whatever net above (the internet), we are happily married coming to 5 years next. Yes. If you heard me, the CHAT. Now that I am married I am happy he is not anybody you can catch over the net but he is a real man- mind & heart.

But, why so? Did I not think of anybody pretended to be someone? Or someone who lives by saliva-based income? Or anybody who make a living with lie and pretend. Yes, I was lucky enough even if I did not even thought about the above earlier, my husband is in my circle of friend. He is a family member to a friend. Maybe I was reckless enough that time, but to some, I got lucky. Nah, I knew he was a good one. Because (20 sentence slogan would not be enough) - I just love him.

So, back to the question I had in mind today after eavesdropping. Man making a living by ...
Maybe it is true, among all those strangers out there with a manlike mask on, could there have been a women' liar. Lie to make a living. Lie to be able to stand another hour, day and year. For what I've heard from that hot talk between them (my husband and a friend), it was not a lie to feel being loved.

It is so different from how a woman feels about a lie. Woman lie to feel accepted, loved and to feel in power. I guess this is why I really envy a man since I was born.

I would not need to pretend in times I am not popular in school. I really don't have to pretend to get good grades to get attentions and loves of the world. I really don't have to be anything. All I have to have is a pair of a good pant.

I really have no clue on where this should have ended. I really don't know. It just really opened my mind suddenly. Some man could just lie. (not all)

Lie to still be worthwhile.